Performance Pain

Mon, 05 Oct 2026 19:49:16 -0700

It is striking to me how much empathy you receive depends on how visible your suffering is to the people around you. A person will pay no mind to your pain if they personally haven’t experienced it and so it’s an abstract thing for them.

I get why “visibly” suffering is often a prerequisite, but it’s still rough. To not be taken at your word that your pain is real.

Oh well.

I think part of why I found some of the shows I watched recently so cathartic was because this whole time, the guy is living in his pain. He’s privately working through his issues with therapy and medication. It’s a long road. He doesn’t know when the light will appear. Yet, she accepts his pain without reservation. She goes a step above to reassure and hold him in his accumulated grief. “It must’ve been so hard, carrying all this hurt yourself.” What a lovely partner. Wow. How could one settle for anything else after witnessing something so tender and healing?

Addendum: I’ll look up and find the full quote or scene at some point and edit this post with it.

reflection | Neuron Engine

Performance Pain